because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
