She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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