I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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