If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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