uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
