oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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