Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
