i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize