My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Did you pee in the oven last night??
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
