But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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