Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My ATM looks so different sober.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
