i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
As shirtless as possible
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
