Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize