I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
