Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
