I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
