Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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