if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It's Friday. Sex?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
