So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
