Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
