WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
