remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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