Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize