Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize