I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
