so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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