That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
