One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.