I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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