Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it

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  (770): and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it http://tfl.nu/mhur
  Replies (3) Good night (1150) Bad night (2630)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME

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  (979): I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME http://tfl.nu/ljwk
  Replies (35) Good night (1154) Bad night (4475)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)

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  (303): My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :) http://tfl.nu/qza7
  Replies (37) Good night (7265) Bad night (972)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard

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  (862): I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard http://tfl.nu/ecro
  Replies (21) Good night (6052) Bad night (1277)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.

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  (702): Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies. http://tfl.nu/viog
  Replies (7) Good night (3970) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic

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  (303): Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic http://tfl.nu/n8k4
  Replies (10) Good night (3641) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile

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  (410): I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile http://tfl.nu/t48c
  Replies (5) Good night (2442) Bad night (1349)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.

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  (937): Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed. http://tfl.nu/c6ek
  Replies (8) Good night (2910) Bad night (999)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget

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  (781): Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget http://tfl.nu/1lyj
  Replies (11) Good night (4332) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.

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  (843): Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here. http://tfl.nu/2yn8
  Replies (5) Good night (1311) Bad night (2918)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket

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  (817): i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket http://tfl.nu/0h42
  Replies (2) Good night (736) Bad night (2247)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?

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  (205): How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people? http://tfl.nu/uhl3
  Replies (5) Good night (2418) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.

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  (701): Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically. http://tfl.nu/syut
  Replies (4) Good night (750) Bad night (1421)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.

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  (561): It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him. http://tfl.nu/0htu
  Replies (2) Good night (370) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.

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  (330): He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber. http://tfl.nu/k9tv
  Replies (4) Good night (691) Bad night (266)

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