When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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