Texts From Last Night

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  (801): View more from Utah

  Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...

  (435): View more from Utah

  A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?

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  (801): Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah... (435): A message to Mrs Obama perhaps? http://tfl.nu/yprl
  Replies (8) Good night (1166) Bad night (562)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.

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  (330): Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper. http://tfl.nu/vs2k
  Replies (12) Good night (746) Bad night (3089)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap

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  (541): So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap http://tfl.nu/9u2o
  Replies (31) Good night (1034) Bad night (4404)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...

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  (302): and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare... http://tfl.nu/t5mw
  Replies (21) Good night (532) Bad night (3697)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.

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  (502): Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this. http://tfl.nu/29p7
  Replies (13) Good night (4354) Bad night (1320)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.

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  (720): He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED. http://tfl.nu/xnx5
  Replies (8) Good night (3090) Bad night (1563)
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  (716): View more from New York

  whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete

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  (716): whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete http://tfl.nu/s3e3
  Replies (6) Good night (2792) Bad night (1011)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!

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  (256): I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?! http://tfl.nu/d9v0
  Replies (61) Good night (1353) Bad night (2336)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way

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  (416): Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way http://tfl.nu/xbs0
  Replies (9) Good night (887) Bad night (1373)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I respect the size of her balls.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.

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  (303): I respect the size of her balls. (1-303): Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else. http://tfl.nu/t5xu
  Replies (15) Good night (792) Bad night (780)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet

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  (856): We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet http://tfl.nu/nuyk
  Replies (5) Good night (680) Bad night (312)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward

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  (206): His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward http://tfl.nu/5ira
  Replies (7) Good night (548) Bad night (249)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...

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  (630): Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals... http://tfl.nu/ojmb
  Replies (1) Good night (483) Bad night (261)
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  (488): View more from

  I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover

  (441): View more from Bermuda-Carib

  Omg I can't even...

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  (488): I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover (441): Omg I can't even... http://tfl.nu/8sa0
  Replies (1) Good night (296) Bad night (580)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.

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  (517): I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive. http://tfl.nu/2l27
  Replies (0) Good night (528) Bad night (178)

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