we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
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Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
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She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol