Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B

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  (305): I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B http://tfl.nu/epjn
  Replies (35) Good night (1168) Bad night (3499)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?

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  (603): Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter? http://tfl.nu/0om2
  Replies (75) Good night (1581) Bad night (5235)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.

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  (602): literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk. http://tfl.nu/38ru
  Replies (9) Good night (2072) Bad night (765)
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  (925): View more from California

  We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.

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  (925): We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely. http://tfl.nu/80gj
  Replies (7) Good night (2742) Bad night (656)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.

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  (651): My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex. http://tfl.nu/dfh2
  Replies (14) Good night (1677) Bad night (525)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year

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  (267): he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year http://tfl.nu/s0i5
  Replies (2) Good night (1197) Bad night (501)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.

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  (717): Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend. http://tfl.nu/7j2q
  Replies (10) Good night (1406) Bad night (721)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Now back to adults eating hotdogs.

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  (402): Now back to adults eating hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/i07d
  Replies (3) Good night (714) Bad night (512)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.

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  (214): You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted. http://tfl.nu/igqi
  Replies (7) Good night (2406) Bad night (570)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?

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  (778): they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date? http://tfl.nu/4653
  Replies (1) Good night (511) Bad night (902)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.

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  (570): I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls. http://tfl.nu/xtaz
  Replies (6) Good night (362) Bad night (635)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.

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  (734): So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return. http://tfl.nu/kh9h
  Replies (1) Good night (650) Bad night (360)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.

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  (787): Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move. http://tfl.nu/dnyd
  Replies (8) Good night (330) Bad night (714)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.

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  (480): There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which. http://tfl.nu/ypuq
  Replies (2) Good night (601) Bad night (254)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.

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  (306): fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not. http://tfl.nu/h1nv
  Replies (5) Good night (1003) Bad night (303)

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