she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Someone shit on the floor
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
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he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
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after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.