It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid