your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
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you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
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hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?