He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize