I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize