i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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