As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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