well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
