Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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