Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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