very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
As shirtless as possible
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
