my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
