Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
