Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
