1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
