The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
