Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
