I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
