Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
