Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize