38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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