he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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