what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
