nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
