i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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