At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
