he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
