ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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