I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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