it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true