o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
