Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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