She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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