I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
