Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
