Your tits are I can't wait for
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
