i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
being pregnant is like rehab
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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