The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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