4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
