Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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