im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
