he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He did a backflip because drugs
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
