I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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