maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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