YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.