Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.

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  (206): Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend. http://tfl.nu/38e6
  Replies (2) Good night (2072) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.

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  (810): I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans. http://tfl.nu/8mn2
  Replies (13) Good night (4586) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.

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  (954): I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago. http://tfl.nu/vwsn
  Replies (59) Good night (4908) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.

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  (435): I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated. http://tfl.nu/6ris
  Replies (15) Good night (6092) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened

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  (216): She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened http://tfl.nu/r1vr
  Replies (11) Good night (4780) Bad night (1329)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong

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  (216): We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong http://tfl.nu/i4ch
  Replies (15) Good night (1394) Bad night (4293)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.

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  (413): the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings. http://tfl.nu/xbcs
  Replies (11) Good night (8947) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.

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  (502): I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean. http://tfl.nu/5uk0
  Replies (6) Good night (4221) Bad night (1253)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks

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  (201): we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks http://tfl.nu/c3q4
  Replies (8) Good night (990) Bad night (2477)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free

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  (203): My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free http://tfl.nu/uzsl
  Replies (2) Good night (1631) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry

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  (989): From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry http://tfl.nu/kfwr
  Replies (4) Good night (1627) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?

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  (615): His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win? http://tfl.nu/uubh
  Replies (11) Good night (2226) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.

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  (281): Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet. http://tfl.nu/oj89
  Replies (13) Good night (1850) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me

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  (816): well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me http://tfl.nu/tnly
  Replies (7) Good night (599) Bad night (189)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving

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  (413): i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/3k7r
  Replies (7) Good night (756) Bad night (208)

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