How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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