I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!