If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
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All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
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All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"