Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day

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  (913): I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day http://tfl.nu/fmap
  Replies (35) Good night (4958) Bad night (1656)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.

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  (630): you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid. http://tfl.nu/ndn7
  Replies (5) Good night (5729) Bad night (1676)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old

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  (803): and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old http://tfl.nu/y7b8
  Replies (23) Good night (1814) Bad night (6772)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.

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  (662): After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do. http://tfl.nu/mztj
  Replies (9) Good night (3332) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved

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  (951): I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved http://tfl.nu/ox8t
  Replies (7) Good night (1043) Bad night (2374)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.

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  (321): Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked. http://tfl.nu/cr3f
  Replies (8) Good night (2528) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.

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  (513): We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed. http://tfl.nu/rz1w
  Replies (2) Good night (1527) Bad night (1354)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.

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  (504): Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit. http://tfl.nu/1p19
  Replies (4) Good night (2478) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.

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  (814): Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge. http://tfl.nu/cbd5
  Replies (2) Good night (729) Bad night (1654)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today

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  (843): I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today http://tfl.nu/bbq7
  Replies (12) Good night (2867) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.

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  (530): That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues. http://tfl.nu/t5d7
  Replies (20) Good night (2285) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Faces of meth called, they want their look back.

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  (703): Faces of meth called, they want their look back. http://tfl.nu/3q15
  Replies (7) Good night (685) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.

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  (616): im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake. http://tfl.nu/ht7z
  Replies (6) Good night (327) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.

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  (209): Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/nr87
  Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard

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  (843): I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard http://tfl.nu/pmd0
  Replies (2) Good night (609) Bad night (272)

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