Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.

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  (858): This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex. http://tfl.nu/bu7g
  Replies (6) Good night (707) Bad night (3571)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?

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  (360): Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me? http://tfl.nu/3uhh
  Replies (16) Good night (1326) Bad night (3762)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.

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  (631): Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick. http://tfl.nu/pj3f
  Replies (12) Good night (4058) Bad night (1118)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong

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  (443): I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong http://tfl.nu/v2kj
  Replies (25) Good night (1395) Bad night (5545)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.

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  (504): Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine. http://tfl.nu/uqy7
  Replies (13) Good night (2238) Bad night (2749)
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  (415): View more from California

  We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.

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  (415): We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly. http://tfl.nu/2ljg
  Replies (11) Good night (1722) Bad night (2077)
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  (315): View more from New York

  My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.

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  (315): My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw. http://tfl.nu/z7bn
  Replies (10) Good night (3597) Bad night (1193)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light

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  (203): Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light http://tfl.nu/z2qb
  Replies (5) Good night (2147) Bad night (1247)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.

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  (919): Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice. http://tfl.nu/je3x
  Replies (5) Good night (3129) Bad night (930)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.

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  (519): You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month. http://tfl.nu/3065
  Replies (9) Good night (2198) Bad night (788)
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  (714): View more from California

  the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?

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  (714): the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that? http://tfl.nu/e4u9
  Replies (19) Good night (2807) Bad night (841)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.

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  (727): well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up. http://tfl.nu/6z0c
  Replies (6) Good night (1739) Bad night (1112)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business

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  (+61): This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business http://tfl.nu/efay
  Replies (2) Good night (983) Bad night (601)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I THINK I SHARTED

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  (910): HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!! (910): I THINK I SHARTED http://tfl.nu/jtux
  Replies (9) Good night (756) Bad night (1487)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.

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  (563): A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night. http://tfl.nu/qzkz
  Replies (4) Good night (422) Bad night (562)

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